Reading section 5

Author: Yogananda, Paramahansa

Autobiography of a Yogi. By Yogananda, Paramahansa. This historical English edition is listed by Project Gutenberg as public domain in the USA. Read the source text, search passages, and explore it with the reading assistant.

Contents
  1. Reading section 1
  2. Reading section 2
  3. Reading section 3
  4. Reading section 4
  5. Reading section 5
  6. Reading section 6
  7. Reading section 7
  8. Reading section 8
  9. Reading section 9
  10. Reading section 10
  11. Reading section 11
  12. Reading section 12
  13. Reading section 13
  14. Reading section 14
  15. Reading section 15
  16. Reading section 16
  17. Reading section 17
  18. Reading section 18
  19. Reading section 19
  20. Reading section 20
  21. Reading section 21
  22. Reading section 22
  23. Reading section 23
  24. Reading section 24
  25. Reading section 25
  26. Reading section 26
  27. Reading section 27
  28. Reading section 28
  29. Reading section 29
  30. Reading section 30
  31. Reading section 31
  32. Reading section 32
  33. Reading section 33
  34. Reading section 34
  35. Reading section 35
  36. Reading section 36
  37. Reading section 37
  38. Reading section 38
  39. Reading section 39
  40. Reading section 40
  41. Reading section 41
  42. Reading section 42
  43. Reading section 43
  44. Reading section 44
  45. Reading section 45
  46. Reading section 46
  47. Reading section 47
  48. Reading section 48
  49. Reading section 49
  50. Reading section 50
  51. Reading section 51
  52. Reading section 52
  53. Reading section 53
  54. Reading section 54
  55. Reading section 55
  56. Reading section 56
  57. Reading section 57
  58. Reading section 58
  59. Reading section 59
  60. Reading section 60
  61. Reading section 61
  62. Reading section 62

{FN3-3} God in His aspect of Creator; from Sanskrit root BRIH, to expand. When Emerson’s poem BRAHMA appeared in the ATLANTIC MONTHLY in 1857, most the readers were bewildered. Emerson chuckled. “Tell them,” he said, “to say ‘Jehovah’ instead of ‘Brahma’ and they will not feel any perplexity.”

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{FN3-4} In deep meditation, the first experience of Spirit is on the altar of the spine, and then in the brain. The torrential bliss is overwhelming, but the yogi learns to control its outward manifestations.

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{FN3-5} After his retirement, Pranabananda wrote one of the most profound commentaries on the BHAGAVAD GITA, available in Bengali and Hindi.

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{FN3-6} See chapter 27.

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CHAPTER: 4

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MY INTERRUPTED FLIGHT TOWARD THE HIMALAYAS

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“Leave your classroom on some trifling pretext, and engage a hackney carriage. Stop in the lane where no one in my house can see you.”

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These were my final instructions to Amar Mitter, a high school friend who planned to accompany me to the Himalayas. We had chosen the following day for our flight. Precautions were necessary, as Ananta exercised a vigilant eye. He was determined to foil the plans of escape which he suspected were uppermost in my mind. The amulet, like a spiritual yeast, was silently at work within me. Amidst the Himalayan snows, I hoped to find the master whose face often appeared to me in visions.

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The family was living now in Calcutta, where Father had been permanently transferred. Following the patriarchal Indian custom, Ananta had brought his bride to live in our home, now at 4 Gurpar Road. There in a small attic room I engaged in daily meditations and prepared my mind for the divine search.

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The memorable morning arrived with inauspicious rain. Hearing the wheels of Amar’s carriage in the road, I hastily tied together a blanket, a pair of sandals, Lahiri Mahasaya’s picture, a copy of the BHAGAVAD GITA, a string of prayer beads, and two loincloths. This bundle I threw from my third-story window. I ran down the steps and passed my uncle, buying fish at the door.

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“What is the excitement?” His gaze roved suspiciously over my person.

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I gave him a noncommittal smile and walked to the lane. Retrieving my bundle, I joined Amar with conspiratorial caution. We drove to Chadni Chowk, a merchandise center. For months we had been saving our tiffin money to buy English clothes. Knowing that my clever brother could easily play the part of a detective, we thought to outwit him by European garb.

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On the way to the station, we stopped for my cousin, Jotin Ghosh, whom I called Jatinda. He was a new convert, longing for a guru in the Himalayas. He donned the new suit we had in readiness. Well-camouflaged, we hoped! A deep elation possessed our hearts.

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“All we need now are canvas shoes.” I led my companions to a shop displaying rubber-soled footwear. “Articles of leather, gotten only through the slaughter of animals, must be absent on this holy trip.” I halted on the street to remove the leather cover from my BHAGAVAD GITA, and the leather straps from my English-made SOLA TOPEE (helmet).

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At the station we bought tickets to Burdwan, where we planned to transfer for Hardwar in the Himalayan foothills. As soon as the train, like ourselves, was in flight, I gave utterance to a few of my glorious anticipations.

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“Just imagine!” I ejaculated. “We shall be initiated by the masters and experience the trance of cosmic consciousness. Our flesh will be charged with such magnetism that wild animals of the Himalayas will come tamely near us. Tigers will be no more than meek house cats awaiting our caresses!”

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This remark-picturing a prospect I considered entrancing, both metaphorically and literally-brought an enthusiastic smile from Amar. But Jatinda averted his gaze, directing it through the window at the scampering landscape.

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“Let the money be divided in three portions.” Jatinda broke a long silence with this suggestion. “Each of us should buy his own ticket at Burdwan. Thus no one at the station will surmise that we are running away together.”

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I unsuspectingly agreed. At dusk our train stopped at Burdwan. Jatinda entered the ticket office; Amar and I sat on the platform. We waited fifteen minutes, then made unavailing inquiries. Searching in all directions, we shouted Jatinda’s name with the urgency of fright. But he had faded into the dark unknown surrounding the little station.

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I was completely unnerved, shocked to a peculiar numbness. That God would countenance this depressing episode! The romantic occasion of my first carefully-planned flight after Him was cruelly marred.

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“Amar, we must return home.” I was weeping like a child. “Jatinda’s callous departure is an ill omen. This trip is doomed to failure.”

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“Is this your love for the Lord? Can’t you stand the little test of a treacherous companion?”

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Through Amar’s suggestion of a divine test, my heart steadied itself. We refreshed ourselves with famous Burdwan sweetmeats, SITABHOG (food for the goddess) and MOTICHUR (nuggets of sweet pearl). In a few hours, we entrained for Hardwar, via Bareilly. Changing trains at Moghul Serai, we discussed a vital matter as we waited on the platform.

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“Amar, we may soon be closely questioned by railroad officials. I am not underrating my brother’s ingenuity! No matter what the outcome, I will not speak untruth.”

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“All I ask of you, Mukunda, is to keep still. Don’t laugh or grin while I am talking.”

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At this moment, a European station agent accosted me. He waved a telegram whose import I immediately grasped.

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“Are you running away from home in anger?”

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“No!” I was glad his choice of words permitted me to make emphatic reply. Not anger but “divinest melancholy” was responsible, I knew, for my unconventional behavior.

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The official then turned to Amar. The duel of wits that followed hardly permitted me to maintain the counseled stoic gravity.

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“Where is the third boy?” The man injected a full ring of authority into his voice. “Come on; speak the truth!”

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“Sir, I notice you are wearing eyeglasses. Can’t you see that we are only two?” Amar smiled impudently. “I am not a magician; I can’t conjure up a third companion.”

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The official, noticeably disconcerted by this impertinence, sought a new field of attack.

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“What is your name?”

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“I am called Thomas. I am the son of an English mother and a converted Christian Indian father.”

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“What is your friend’s name?”

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“I call him Thompson.”

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By this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith; I unceremoniously made for the train, whistling for departure. Amar followed with the official, who was credulous and obliging enough to put us into a European compartment. It evidently pained him to think of two half-English boys traveling in the section allotted to natives. After his polite exit, I lay back on the seat and laughed uncontrollably. My friend wore an expression of blithe satisfaction at having outwitted a veteran European official.

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On the platform I had contrived to read the telegram. From my brother, it went thus: “Three Bengali boys in English clothes running away from home toward Hardwar via Moghul Serai. Please detain them until my arrival. Ample reward for your services.”

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“Amar, I told you not to leave marked timetables in your home.” My glance was reproachful. “Brother must have found one there.”

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My friend sheepishly acknowledged the thrust. We halted briefly in Bareilly, where Dwarka Prasad awaited us with a telegram from Ananta. My old friend tried valiantly to detain us; I convinced him that our flight had not been undertaken lightly. As on a previous occasion, Dwarka refused my invitation to set forth to the Himalayas.

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While our train stood in a station that night, and I was half asleep, Amar was awakened by another questioning official. He, too, fell a victim to the hybrid charms of “Thomas” and “Thompson.” The train bore us triumphantly into a dawn arrival at Hardwar. The majestic mountains loomed invitingly in the distance. We dashed through the station and entered the freedom of city crowds. Our first act was to change into native costume, as Ananta had somehow penetrated our European disguise. A premonition of capture weighed on my mind.

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Deeming it advisable to leave Hardwar at once, we bought tickets to proceed north to Rishikesh, a soil long hallowed by feet of many masters. I had already boarded the train, while Amar lagged on the platform. He was brought to an abrupt halt by a shout from a policeman. Our unwelcome guardian escorted us to a station bungalow and took charge of our money. He explained courteously that it was his duty to hold us until my elder brother arrived.

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Learning that the truants’ destination had been the Himalayas, the officer related a strange story.

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“I see you are crazy about saints! You will never meet a greater man of God than the one I saw only yesterday. My brother officer and I first encountered him five days ago. We were patrolling by the Ganges, on a sharp lookout for a certain murderer. Our instructions were to capture him, alive or dead. He was known to be masquerading as a SADHU in order to rob pilgrims. A short way before us, we spied a figure which resembled the description of the criminal. He ignored our command to stop; we ran to overpower him. Approaching his back, I wielded my ax with tremendous force; the man’s right arm was severed almost completely from his body.

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“Without outcry or any glance at the ghastly wound, the stranger astonishingly continued his swift pace. As we jumped in front of him, he spoke quietly.

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“‘I am not the murderer you are seeking.’

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“I was deeply mortified to see I had injured the person of a divine—looking sage. Prostrating myself at his feet, I implored his pardon, and offered my turban-cloth to staunch the heavy spurts of blood.

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“‘Son, that was just an understandable mistake on your part.’ The saint regarded me kindly. ‘Run along, and don’t reproach yourself. The Beloved Mother is taking care of me.’ He pushed his dangling arm into its stump and lo! it adhered; the blood inexplicably ceased to flow.

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“‘Come to me under yonder tree in three days and you will find me fully healed. Thus you will feel no remorse.’

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“Yesterday my brother officer and I went eagerly to the designated spot. The SADHU was there and allowed us to examine his arm. It bore no scar or trace of hurt!

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“‘I am going via Rishikesh to the Himalayan solitudes.’ He blessed us as he departed quickly. I feel that my life has been uplifted through his sanctity.”

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The officer concluded with a pious ejaculation; his experience had obviously moved him beyond his usual depths. With an impressive gesture, he handed me a printed clipping about the miracle. In the usual garbled manner of the sensational type of newspaper (not missing, alas! even in India), the reporter’s version was slightly exaggerated: it indicated that the SADHU had been almost decapitated!

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Amar and I lamented that we had missed the great yogi who could forgive his persecutor in such a Christlike way. India, materially poor for the last two centuries, yet has an inexhaustible fund of divine wealth; spiritual “skyscrapers” may occasionally be encountered by the wayside, even by worldly men like this policeman.

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We thanked the officer for relieving our tedium with his marvelous story. He was probably intimating that he was more fortunate than we: he had met an illumined saint without effort; our earnest search had ended, not at the feet of a master, but in a coarse police station!

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So near the Himalayas and yet, in our captivity, so far, I told Amar I felt doubly impelled to seek freedom.

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“Let us slip away when opportunity offers. We can go on foot to holy Rishikesh.” I smiled encouragingly.

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But my companion had turned pessimist as soon as the stalwart prop of our money had been taken from us.

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“If we started a trek over such dangerous jungle land, we should finish, not in the city of saints, but in the stomachs of tigers!”

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Ananta and Amar’s brother arrived after three days. Amar greeted his relative with affectionate relief. I was unreconciled; Ananta got no more from me than a severe upbraiding.

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“I understand how you feel.” My brother spoke soothingly. “All I ask of you is to accompany me to Benares to meet a certain saint, and go on to Calcutta to visit your grieving father for a few days. Then you can resume your search here for a master.”

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